Some Words...

One of the things I love about living in a big city, is taking public transportation. I'm lucky that I get to experience the 'essence' of Chicago by riding the El day in and day out. God I'm such a liar. I hate the El. I hate public transportation. I hate that they are raise the fare every 6 months so they can dig themselves out of debt. I hate smelly people, the ones that smell like urine, the ones that smell like they haven't showered in a week, the ones that smell like anything other than soap and decent perfume. What else do I hate? I hate the people that sniff every 30 seconds, sniff, sniff, sniff. Get a f*ck*ing Kleenex already. I hate the people that take up an empty seat with their backpack or purse. I hate the people that won't move away from the doors so you can actually get on the train. I hate the people that talk on their cell phones so loud that you can hear their entire conversation. I really don't give a f*uck that your boyfriend scr*wed the sl*t down the street....I DON'T CARE! I hate the people that turn their Ipod's up so loud that everyone standing next to them can hear what crappy music they are listening to. If I wanted to listen to Kelly Clarkson I'd buy the damn CD and play it MYSELF.

It sounds like I hate a lot of people doesn't it? Really I'm quite an easy going person, well sort of. I like most people, at least the ones that don't annoy me. Maybe you think I'm getting worked up and should just relax. Let me tell you about the last 24 hours and my 'El experience'. Yesterday I waited on the tracks for a train. I waited and I waited, and I waited. When the train finally came, it was jammed full of people so none of the other 50 people standing on the platform could even attempt to board the train. 3 more trains passed by, I say passed because they all were full. Ok, so I've got extra time to kill, I'll stand here and wait for another train. After 30 minutes a train came that actually had standing room in it. The trains stops, the doors open...WAIT....there's a guy laying on the floor in front of the doors completely zonked out. Damn..."listen dude I don't mean to disturb your peaceful slumber but could you kindly MOVE the FU*CK OUT OF the WAY?" Seriously, I said that. People became scared, but I got a small space to stand in. So I work all day, I'm tired, it's time to go home...on the El. I take my Red Eye crossword puzzle (somehow being able to figure out those things makes me feel smarter) and I wait on the platform for the train. Not too long of a wait, that's cool, hey the train's half empty, cool. I find my seat and settle in to start working on my puzzle. "Sniff, sniff, sniff, SNORT." I can't believe it, who the hell is making that noise. Oh wait, it's the fat smelly girl behind me. Maybe she'll stop, no, "sniff, sniff, SNORT." My GOD. Are you a coke head or what? Do you have allergies...take a pill. She continues like this for 3 more stops until I can't take it anymore so I get up and move to the other end of the train. Oh good, there are more seats down here away from SNOT girl. Ok, I settle in again, start my crossword puzzle and then I hear, "yo b*tch, can you believe that Rico dropped his a** down on my couch thinking I was actually going to take his sorry a** back after he scr*wed that sl*t over in Uptown?" Wait, are you talking to me, I don't see a phone, you must be talking to me. I reply, "well, how many times did he f*ck her, if it wasn't many, take him back, you look a little desperate." She looks at me like I'm crazy. Oh, my bad....you are talking on a hands free. "Hands free," now there's an invention. I can't escape, they are everywhere. Now I'm the one that's desperate because I ended up moving to another seat where I practically had to sit on a guys lap next to his backpack while he listened to Kelly Clarkson's latest hits. He rubbed off on me, literally. I'm buying Kelly's CD tomorrow.

Oh happy day....oh happy day. It's only Wednesday.