Some Words...

First I have to tell you to read this article about 'Miss Kitty' who was reunited with her owner after being separated during hurricane Katrina so click here and be prepared to smile. It's so great...we all get so moved over a man and his cat. It just reminds me that sometimes it doesn't take that much to make a person happy.

Ok, on to my next topic. I'm sure a lot of you can relate with me on this next thing. Before my relationship with Volley, I had quite a few boyfriends. Actually I'm not quite sure I'd call them boyfriends...but they were guys who I dated and did 'stuff' with. I was sort of on this kick before Volley where I didn't want a boyfriend. I wanted to date, I wanted to have fun, but I didn't want any sort of commitment, at least that's what I told myself. Anyway, there was this one guy, a real bad boy, he was beautiful with his dark mane and brooding looks. He played the guitar and wrote his own music (I'm such a sucker for musicians). I met him at a bar one night where I went after my voice lessons at the local music school. He was the bartender, I was the chick that sat back in awe of him. We had those 'looks' going on. You know the kind where you just sort of stare at each other in hopes one of you will make the first move. Well, I didn't make the first move...he did. I almost jumped up and down in my seat but I held back...I didn't want to look desperate or anything. Anyway we hit it off. He was the first guy in a long time that I wanted to sleep with...but actually didn't (well not until much later). We went back to his place after the bar closed and we talked and he played me his music until 6 the next morning when I had to tear myself away to go to my 'day' job. He was so mysterious, mainly because he didn't try to sleep with me and that was a new concept. I think that in itself was enough to hook me. We played this cat and mouse game for a month or so until finally I gave in...I mean he gave in. As much as I wanted to come off as aloof with no cares in the world, I started wanting this man...more than I should have. It was pretty hot for awhile, but like most musicians that actually write those 'heart wrenching' ballads, this guy had his heart broken not so long before I met him which meant he was pretty much off limits in the relationship department. Things cooled off mainly because I pulled away, I just couldn't handle falling for this guy. Long story short, I have not seen him for 2 years....until last night. I'm walking back to my car after my guitar class and I had parked right outside the bar where he used to work (actually he still works there but I didn't know it). As I walk by the window of the bar I peer in, not really expecting to see him but reminiscing about those not so faded memories. I guess a part of me was hoping to see him, but no luck, he wasn't in there. I reach my car, fumble for my keys and then someone taps me lightly on the shoulder. I kind of froze, not out of fear, but out of anticipation. It was so frickn' weird...it's like I knew it was going to be him. When I turned around he was just standing there with that same brooding look I had fallen for a couple of years before. I didn't know what to say, he didn't know what to say, so we said nothing. We just stood there looking at each other. I felt kind of stupid but I just couldn't force any words to come out of my mouth, it's like I was mute. Finally he reached out and hugged me and it was like no time had passed since I had touched him. After many moments of silence we finally were able to utter a few pleasantries. He asked me how I'd been, I said fine. He asked me what I'd been up to, I said having a baby. He looked down at his feet and said, "I guess that means you found that song you'd been longing to hear." Can you believe that? The guy is a poet. I didn't ask him about his life, I was actually afraid to know how wonderful he had been. We stood there for a few more minutes until I told him I had to go. His response, "you always did have to run away." I couldn't even respond. This guy knew me better than I thought he did. All I could do was nod my head, he was right about me. As he turned to walk away I just stood there staring at him not really wanting him to go, but wishing I'd never seen him again. I told him that I'd see him again sometime (hoping that I wouldn't, I couldn't handle it). He reached out for my hand and touched me lightly. He said some words I will never forget as long as I live, "sometimes running away will bring you right back to the place you started." That was it, he was gone.

I'm not sure if I'll see him again. I know I'm in love now and I have a great life but seeing him last night reminded me that if I ever get the urge to run away again to protect myself from some pain that may or may not reach me, I better stop and remember that one time, not so long ago, I ran away from something that could have been the best song I'd ever had the pleasure of singing.