9/26/2005

Stalkers...

Recently I read a post over on WDKY's site about a 'stalking' incident. Apparently someone he had a brief interlude with, has been stalking him by phone. It got me wondering about stalkers and whether or not it's usually women that do the stalking instead of men. Personally I had a man stalker...and it was freaky, but generally you hear more about women stalkers. So this weekend when I was together with a group of my gal pals I posed the question to them, "have you ever stalked a man?" I didn't think I'd get much response but oh my...was I surprised. One friend said that when she was in her 20's she dated this guy who was labeled a real player. She used to sit outside his house at night and watch to see if he came home alone, if he didn't she'd run out to meet him and confront him immediately. There was another friend who said she used to drive by her boyfriend's work place, his apartment, the bar where he hung out...just to maybe catch a glimpse of him. Why, what would she have done if she saw him? Then there were the stories of ex-boyfriends, women calling at all hours of the night begging for a return phone call. One woman said she even hid in the bushes outside her ex's bedroom window and watched as he scr*wed another chick. My God! I feel so normal. I began to panic a little, thinking that maybe it was true, women are slightly off-kilter. Could it be...that we're all just quietly waiting for that moment that sends us over the edge into the 'Stalker Zone'? You know we all fear a man calling us 'psycho' or 'crazy' but honestly....are we? I even read on another woman's blog how she called her ex-boyfriend non-stop and left message after message and couldn't figure out why he hadn't called back. She even said she had his access code for his voicemail so she'd call it and check it to see who had called him. Is that stalking? I can say that I've never stalked anyone but if I'm honest, I've thought about it. I didn't really think it would be stalking, rather....just some strange 'peeping' that would allow me to know something...anything...ok that's strange too. But, the difference is that even though I thought about stalking, I never did it. That counts doesn't it? Maybe we just don't hear about the male stalking stories. Or maybe, it's just that men are more subtle in their techniques and just don't get caught. Or maybe, it's that women tend to report it less...we just deal. When I had a stalker he used to sit across from my house and j*ck off, then he'd call me to tell me what he was doing. At first I took the comical approach...."really, how nice for you, can you find that thing in the dark." But he got turned on by anything I said. It really started to freak me out when he'd said we'd met before, that we'd even dated and I had no idea who this guy was. Finally I called the cops and gave him the description of his van. I only had a few digits of his license plate but they were able to track him down. Turns out he was a cop...and he just got a verbal warning not to do it again. Nice eh? So maybe that's it, women don't report stalkers because they know nothing really will be done. I remember the reporting police offer asking me, "so what did you do to initiate this?" "Well officer friendly I stood in front of an open window, naked, with vibrator in hand and called out, Come and Get me you big strong manly man." Obviously it worked.

14 Comments:

  1. Benoit Lapierre said...
    Hi from Canada,
    Keep on going, your blog is very interesting!




    Get Firefox!
    Kelly said...
    I like to blogstalk. I was particularly fond of reading my ex-fiance's new fiancee's blog, just to see what was up. She only posts friends-only now though..doh! And not because of me, either, but because some family member called her out for posting personal stuff.
    sirreene said...
    I think that some people need the book: He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys (Hardcover)
    by Greg Behrendt, Liz Tuccillo, Lauren Monchik
    NewYorkMoments said...
    There are tons of male stalkers! I think women are just less inhibited about talking about it if they do it. I used to call around once in a while when I suspected my ex-b/f was cheating on me. And when I got proof that he was, I broke up with him & never contacted him again. However, I can't say the same thing for him, because, after being broken up for more than 3 years, I still get middle of the night calls from him!
    Networkchic said...
    Still get middle of the night calls after 3 years...damn you must have been good. ;-)
    NewYorkMoments said...
    I dont' know...I suspect he calls when he needs money and/or a place to stay. The same stuff he needed when we were dating. He was such a loser. Ugh...
    WDKY said...
    For once I might disagree with NYM... I do think it tends to be more of, but not exclusively, a female domain.

    Thanks for the link, by the way. x

    PS Oh, and get blinds.
    k o w said...
    I'm sure theres just as many guys stalking as the ladies. It just that alot of guys are afraid to go to jail and therefore never speak of it.

    I've only had one ex actually stalk me. I'd catch her parked on my street as I brought dates home. My car got keyed a couple of times but that was about it.
    Networkchic said...
    Hey WDKY I like when people watch. :-) Just kidding.
    Caroline said...
    Well I have my first stalker, and it's a SHE. She got my screenname from someone in class and won't leave me the hell alone. She's also been asking for my phone number and address, and she knows which road my complex is off of. It's some freaky crap.
    k said...
    For the record... I didn't call his voicemail and check to see if he'd gotten other calls... I just checked to see if the access code worked... and it did. I dropped it at that. Oh, and I had called him every day and left messages for him, but not because I wanted him to call back, but because I wanted him to send me MONEY HE OWED ME. Since reviewing my actions though, I have given up on calling him. It's a waste of my time and energy. He's a scum-sucking, bottom feeding oxygen thief. A user, abuser and crackhead... I don't need it anymore.... In any case, other than this instance, I've not been a "stalker" ever, but have been stalked to the point of getting a restraining order ONCE.

    Honestly, I have a fulfilling life, I don't need to chase someone down in order to have a life... oh, and The Cowboy... he's not even worth stalking. Stalking would imply some sort of attraction... the only attraction I have for him is the money the rat bastid owes me... which I'll never see again anyway... c'est la vie eh?!

    Thanks for all the positive vibes :)
    kimmyk said...
    i had a real life stalker one time.
    he flew here to ohio from washington and wouldn't leave.
    called my sister from the airport and she thought he was a "distant" friend and did him the favor of picking him up since i was unavailable.
    he stayed for a week at a hotel and finally decided to go home after i met with him one time-i took him to the airport and watched him get off the plane 2 times before the pilot apparently asked him to take his seat. he stood on the stairs and they kept bringing him drinks-later found out he was hyperventilating.
    he useta send me gifts...one particular gift was a bottle of cum.
    yah i said cum. and yah i freaked out-threw the shit out the car window when i opened the envelope.
    i dont want stalkers.....
    unless ya wanna stalk my blog....then have at it.
    Blueprincesa said...
    It's true, women can get pretty psycho... I was never that bad, but when I was 15 I used to skip class and just sit outside the class of the boy I liked thinking about the fact that he was in there... silly.
    Networkchic said...
    Hey K...I didn't think you were a stalker...just sort of used your scenario as an example. As for that cowboy...good riddence.

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