6/19/2006

forgetting to be grateful

I had a bit of a scare on Friday with a tiny bit of spotting (sorry fellows for the slight graphics) and I decided instead of waiting patiently for the doctor to call me back that I'd head to the ER and have things checked out. I have to admit that I was calmer than I thought I'd be but mostly because I had a bit of the same thing with my first pregnancy. But, still my heart wrapped itself up in knots worrying about the tiny life inside of me that had only just begun. As I sat there waiting in the ER with a homeless guy with thoughts of suicide, a teenage girl under the care of DCFS (department of child and family services) who tried to get rid of her unborn child by overdosing on birth control, I could only pray that God protect this child I was carrying and give them a chance to find out for themselves how screwed up this world can be. So after about an hour I'm taken to a room and after another 1/2 hour a doctor comes in with an ultrasound machine. He chats briefly as he's rubbing cold jelly on my stomach and I tried to be cheerful but inside I'm wishing he'd hurry up and show me my sweet little baby. He places the wand on my belly and in an instant the screen captures a tiny little being with arms flailing and legs kicking...and at that moment everything was right with the world. "He's a fighter," the doctor says. I didn't even pay attention to the fact that he called 'peanut' a boy...we still don't know that yet, I could only stare at the life dancing gloriously around the screen. Before the doctor removed the wand he listened for the baby's heartbeat which was strong and healthy. I have to tell you that a beating heart, especially when it belongs to your child, is the most beautiful music your ears will ever hear. As I sit here typing this I can still hear the faint echo of that heart and it calms me like nothing else could.

So it turned out that everything was fine. Baby is healthy. They have no idea why I spotted but said it's actually more common than most people think. I have to wonder if I ended up in that ER with those two people who were both trying to end a life to remind me how precious life really is. It's not that I forgot that life if is a gift, it's that I rarely remember to be grateful for it.

12 Comments:

  1. Michelle said...
    Glad to hear everything is ok with you and the baby.

    We forget to be thankful for a lot of things that are with us everyday. To a lot of people every day life is just a routine, until something changes we rarely think about what we have to be thankful for.
    sirreene said...
    ;That is frightening. You did the correct thing going to the ER. I am glad that everything is ok. Take it easy.
    Tab said...
    I do believe little humans are meant to remind us older humans to try to never take a day for granted in while living this gift we call life.
    Touching post Net,
    glad you and baby are a-ok !
    Thanks for sharing ~
    Caterpillar said...
    That was so beautiful. I'm calmed right now just thinking about your little baby's heartbeat and flailing arms and legs - it's so perfect and miraculous.

    I'm so glad that everything is alright with both of you!
    Christine said...
    I'm glad NWC that everything is ok for your babe.

    I come from a diferent perspective today--I know you will be ok even if everything is not ok for your child/children.

    Enjoy your little fighter today
    keda said...
    blimey! i remember that... spotting, and rushing to hospital. only as i read this i was waiting for you to say there was actually 2! thats what happened here!

    so so glad everythings fine baby.
    its terrifying i know.

    but yes time to be reminded of how wonderful this life is.
    have a lovely week honey. :)
    kimmyk said...
    Sheesh how scarey!

    Glad to hear everything is ok and that your lil baby BOY is a healthy fighter!

    Now we gotta think of a name....
    tkdjunkie said...
    So glad your baby is okay. What an interesting situation in that ER ...
    Rex said...
    Glad to hear everything is okay with the two of you. I know exactly how you felt at that moment, just waiting and praying. I had a very similar experience, only mine ended sadly. I didn't take the time to remember that life was a blessed gift until it was gone. You are truly blessed and you both are in my prayers.
    NMAMFQLMSH said...
    Right now I am extremely grateful you and my cyber Godchild are fine. I will continue to keep you all in my prays.
    I see you,
    JJ
    Tab said...
    DiD yOu FoRgEt To PaY yOuR LiGhTiNg BiLl AgAiN ?????!!!!!!
    NML said...
    Sorry to hear about your little scare. Glad that all is well :-)

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