6/16/2006

backed into a corner

There is nothing I hate more than being backed into a corner. If that happens, I'll kick and scream and my claws will come flying out...well not literally but I can be one stubborn Irish lass when I feel that I'm being bullied. So last night my soon to be inlaws came over for a brief visit and I knew I was in trouble when my sig. other's father tried giving me financial advice. First, I don't mind financial advice from people that can actually manage finances but this man...cannot. As he sat there trying to tell me that I needed to buy a house in the suburbs and that on my salary I could afford a nice place...I started to fume. I have no desire to move to the burbs which would make my commute to work longer, would prevent me from having a nanny since most of them won't travel outside of the city, would make me have to give up the various kid friendly friends I've now developed. As I sat there fuming and listening to my sig. other agree with his dad I just about lost it. "I will not discuss this," I quickly responded. That didn't shut him up but my walking away did. After he left I was so pissed off I could hardly speak. I've asked my soon to be husband before not to involve me in any advice financial or otherwise that he wishes to seek from his father but somehow he either forgot that little tidbit or completely ignored it.

Eventually my sig. other apologized for backing me into a corner an applauded me for retracting my claws as his dad droned on about what he thought was best. I love this man and I want to marry him but does that mean I have to invite his father into my personal affairs? I never put my sig. other on display for my own parents out of respect..and my parents never offer him advice because they know it is not their place. Part of me knows it's mostly a cultural thing. His dad is Palestinian and in their culture the women are not part of any decision making but he's seriously underestimated my willingness to abide by his 'traditions.' I thank God every day that my sig. other is more like his Filipino roots where women are strong and independent. Every once in awhile he falls into his dad's bully trap and it takes all my strength to pull him free.

Now that's out of my system I hope you all have a fab weekend...it's going to be a hot one so stay cool.

8 Comments:

  1. bornfool said...
    Thanks for visiting. Your questions were great. have a wonderful weekend.
    sirreene said...
    I get along magnificently with my well-meaning constantly meddling former in-laws. All it takes is time and sometimes a divorce. I actually enjoy them now! Have a lovely weekend.
    Caterpillar said...
    Oh my gosh, I'd be fuming, too. I couldn't live in a culture like that. I'm so glad that your sig. other doesn't buy into that. And when I have children there's no way I'll be moving to the suburbs either!!!

    Have a wonderful weekend!
    NMAMFQLMSH said...
    Good for you girl! I have learned to sort of tune out what certain people are saying when they are "giving advice" that I feel is bad and tune back in when I think they have something good to say. Took me a long time to learn this but it keeps me sane sometimes and it also keeps me from telling the to shut the fuck up.
    I see you,
    JJ
    Da Gal said...
    Sounds like you handled a difficult situation very well. I love what JJ says too. I have learned to tune ppl out when they offer unsolicited advice. When I know the person well enough and trust them I will say, I'm not asking for your advice... that rarely happens though.

    Thanks for sharing so openly.
    NML said...
    That was a very weird situation which you handled well. In laws can be one way or the other, and you've got them the dodgy way. You're a grown woman and you'll make your decisions with the SO.
    kimmyk said...
    Walking away usually shuts them up everytime...but it pisses me off all the more.

    Sorry to hear they're trying to tell you whats best for you-only you can do that.

    Have a great weekend NWC!
    WDKY said...
    I know I've missed some days here and there lately, but what's with the "soon to be" thing? Hmmmm.

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