Some Words...

My baby is growing up. Last night my sig. other and I spent an hour putting together Alice's new castle 'big girl bed'. I've been putting this off for awhile mainly because I didn't want to admit that my sweet baby girl has grown into a sweet little girl. There's something about your first born growing up enough to leave her baby crib that makes your heart ache. As we took apart her crib the tears sprang from my eyes, it wasn't so long ago that she seemed like a tiny spec of life in that gigantic bed. I remember laying her in the crib, wrapped up like a cocoon, thinking, she's too small - she'll get lost in there. But now she's grown out of her cocoon and it's time to spread her wings. A small part of me can't help but wish that I could keep her small enough to hold in my arms forever and keep her safe from the world, but I know that's impossible. Still, the tears fell as I realized how fast time moves past us. We live each day with little notice of the small things that shape who we'll be tomorrow or next year. I've tried really hard these past two years to remember every tiny detail about Alice, and now they are tucked safely inside my heart. So, I gave my baby space to grow. She was so excited about her new 'Big Girl Bed' that it took her awhile to go to sleep. Most of the night I slept in partial consciousness waiting for her to cry out to me - but she didn't. This morning I snuck into her room to watch her sleep and her little legs were pulled up under her belly, tiny butt sticking in the air, and I smiled. She had her Raggedy Ann and her stuffed Elephant tucked safely beside her where she could hold on to them. I suppose she learned that from me...

When Alice woke up she smiled at me and giggled. "Mommy, I'm big girl," and then she ran to me and cried "mommy hold Alice, mommy hold Alice." You see...even big girls still need their moms.