Some Words...

Dear Santa,

I know what you are thinking, I'm kind of old to be sending you a Christmas list, but I need some help. You might read this list and think to yourself, NWC these are things that cannot be bought or made. You'd be right in your thinking Santa, but somehow I keep losing the directions on how to fulfill these wishes of mine. Maybe if you could just leave a nice simple set of directions next to the plate of cookies (double chocolate chip mind you) I would be forever grateful.

1. Patience - I expect the whole world to rotate on its axis at a rate that I feel best suits me. As much as I try, I cannot seem to find the patience to just let things be, let them happen at someone else's pace. Please show me how Santa.

2. Optimism - I tend to see the negative side of every situation. I don't think I've always been like this but somehow this pessimism thing has snuck up on me and wrapped itself so tightly around my being that sometimes I struggle to breath. Please Santa, show me how to see the bright side of things.

3. Forgiveness - Santa, I have a really hard time with this one. I tend to scratch the memory of every painful moment and the person responsible for inflicting that pain into my brain and into my heart. Sometimes my resentment for that person, for that pain, changes the direction of my life. I spend too much time being angry and if it's possible I'd like to learn to forgive that person. If you could show me how, maybe I'll learn how to forgive her, I mean myself.

4. Love - Most times I don't think I need help with this one Santa. I've loved quite a bit in my lifetime. I love my daughter, I love my significant other but where I fall short, is in the ability to love myself. I thought I knew how but sometimes I think my perception of what loving myself really means, escapes me. I am my toughest critic and I often forget to give myself a break. I want to be perfect but I am not. I hold myself up to such high standards that most times I fail to meet them. Can you help me Santa? Help me love this person I am inside and out? Help me love the flaws and celebrate the beauty of who I am?

5. Red Corvette - ok, so this one isn't really on the same level as the wishes above but honestly if I had a red Corvette I'm sure I would be patient when sitting in traffic, I'd be optimistic that I wouldn't get a speeding ticket, I'd forgive the nice police officer who pulled me over for going 10 miles over the speed limit, and darn it I'd love myself. What's not to love about NWC sitting in a red Corvette.

Ok, so that's it Santa, my grown up Christmas list. Please help me. Thanks

P.S. I'll understand if you can't fit that red Corvette under my tree.