It’s time
4 months ago
3/28/2006
Last night I watched Elizabethtown, ever heard of it? I highly recommend it and it's not a chick flick either. In the movie Kristen Dunst refers to herself as a substitute person, the person that people keep in their lives for every reason under the sun except love. As I lay in bed last night I kept turning that phrase over and over in my mind, "Substitute People." Had I ever been one? Had I ever had one in my life? What makes someone a substitute instead of the real thing? I remember many times when I used other people to take away the pain in my life. People to make me feel worth loving. People to make me feel less alone. People to make me feel - something. As I look back at those not so proud moments I realize that they were my 'substitute people'. Part of me feels guilty but part of me believes that while I was using them to fulfill my needs, they were doing the same to me in return. Every person is a substitute at one time or another, a substitute friend, a substitute lover, a substitute conscience. Does that make us bad when we use a substitute for the real thing? I don't think so. Sometimes we don't have the power,the will or the way to find the real 'thing'. Sometimes we need someone if only for a moment, for a day, for enough time so that we realize what it is we're substituting. The funny thing about 'substitutes' is that most times we can convince ourselves it's the real thing; real love, real friendship, real feelings. No one really likes substitutes - being one or using one. But sometimes the calories from the 'real thing' seem much more hazardous to our health. When we heal on the inside we realize that having the real friendship, the real love, the real conscience is the only thing really worth having. Eventually we learn that even substitutes have calories.
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Good thought provoking post today:)
Thanks for sharing~
I agree - I think we are all sub. people in other's lives and in our own. Are there friends you call just when you are down because they pick you up? I know when I was single, there were a few guy friends that I could call, go out, be told how smart and beautiful I was - sub.
I know I've been for people and I use to call this "Convenient friendships". I notice some people only come around when they needed something - either they are lonely or other. I've tried really hard not to be a convenient friend to someone - but a true friend.
subsitute...I thought about that too when I first saw this movie, I think its just part of the growing processing, sometimes in life, we need those subsitutes, which in hindsite, I see them as blessings, to help me get by, or me help them or whatever...
I am glad that I have the real things in my life todaay... real love/friendship with my husband, with my children, (still working on one of my step childres : ) real faith in GOD, my HP, real recovery... I am sooo blessed!!!
thanks for posting this, I just love you view on things, and love how you write it so well!!! thanks NWC have a great day....
You are a gifted writer. Your posts always make me think, and feel so many emotions.
This is beautifully written.
Ladybug
I feel like I am a substitute person to pretty much just one person, not necessarily I love, but in friendship. It's like everyone likes me for who I am, except her. It really bothers me. What does she see that others don't? I guess it's more complicated than it seems. But it really bothers me.
To anyone who can help...
Help, please. All recommend this program to effectively advertise on the Internet, this is the best program!