3/22/2006

Now I lay me down to sleep...

When I was a little girl I prayed every night. My parents would come in my room, we'd kneel in front of my bed and they would listen to me thank God for the blessings in my life. As I got older my parents stopped coming to my room to make sure I said my prayers but even without their supervision, I still wanted to talk to God before I slept. There are a lot of people that remember saying their prayers when they were little. There are a lot of people that grew out of that practice, but I'm not one of them. Although I don't kneel beside my bed anymore, I do still talk to God every single night before I sleep. I don't really consider myself a religious person. I go to church, I pray, but I'm not someone who preaches my beliefs to the choir because for me, religion is personal. It is not something I wish to convince the world to believe in, it is not something that makes me better than someone who has no religion, it is something that makes me feel less alone in this world. When I started this blog I promised myself I wouldn't post about religion because it's not something I want to be debated. Yesterday I was speaking to a friend who is going through a hard time in her life. As I sat there listening my mind started to wander back to the moments in my own life when living seemed the most incredibly hard thing to accomplish. She asked me how I got through those times. Didn't I feel alone? Who did I talk to? Could anyone help me find hope to make through another day? I sat there briefly pondering her questions. I knew the answers but I was dangerously close to crossing the line I'd drawn. She needed me to answer - and so I did.

"When I was a little girl my parents told me that God was my friend. He was the ear that always listened. He had the arms that always held me. He had the mind that never judged. He had the heart that always forgave. He had the light that cleared my darkness. He had the coat that kept me warm. He had the answers when I was questioning. He had the hope when I was hopeless. He was my rock when I needed to lean. He was the hero when I needed saving. He was my map when I was lost. He was my mirror when I was vain. God was my friend." I told her about those times in my life where nothing seemed powerful enough to take away the pain. How I got down on my bare knees on a cold hardwood floor and sobbed until my chest hurt, begging God to save me. I told her that knowing and more importantly believing that there is some higher power holding you back from the edge, is the most rewarding belief you will ever put your faith in. She asked me how to start. "How to start what," I asked. "To start praying," she answered. "You start like this, talking from one friend to another." "And He'll listen," she asked. "He'll listen as long as you are willing to talk," I responded, "Friends are like that."

10 Comments:

  1. Christine said...
    thank you for sharing your friend God with her and with us
    Chuck said...
    I think there's a huge difference between imposing your religious beliefs and sharing what you believe. I think you did the right thing.
    Lori said...
    I feel so much the same. I think that the best way to show people God is through our actions towards others. How can they believe through words what isn't seen in action? My mother told me many years ago that I should try to be the best person that I could be because I never knew who was looking at me as their role model. I've never forgotten that and have tried to instill that in my own children.

    There is an old poem by Edgar A. Guest called, "I'd rather see a sermon than hear one anyday." And it is so true.
    Grace said...
    You stole my own thoughts. Last night as I was praying I was thinking of the same thing - I still talk to God each night and sometimes even say the childhood prayer. sometimes I sit in silence, not knowing what to say but know he's there when I do speak. When people ask me how I get through so much, sometimes it is hard to say why. It's because of God - without him - there are things in my life I couldn't of gotten through. You've inspired me to write my thoughts about this - similiar to yours but still worth reading tomorrow.
    WDKY said...
    Lovely post. I won't expound on my own views, save to mention that I used to say my prayers when I was a child and I no longer do. I can remember what I used to say, though :-)
    Alexis said...
    that is the most accurate, most honest, most wonderful description of God I have ever in my life heard. Thank you. I'm going to borrow it to tell my children. That's beautiful!
    kimmyk said...
    This was one of my favorite posts of yours NWC!
    I'm speechless.
    Da Gal said...
    {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{NWC}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

    My words will say little right now.. my prayers and thoughts say a lot. Thanks for saying what you do.

    M
    e.e. said...
    i pray you will be my friend someday....
    NML said...
    This has given me a lot of thought and comes at an interesting time when I think I may need to reconnect spiritually. Thank you :-)

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