It’s time
4 months ago
3/01/2006
So much of my life has been spent looking in from the outside into a world that seemed foreign to me. I'd read how families were supposed to be - whole and peaceful but it was never part of my reality so I was skeptical that it could actually exist. Sometimes my friends would talk about their family outings, the ones with a mom and a dad and I remember being so jealous. I was like a peeping Tom, standing under the bushes outside a window hoping to catch a glimpse of this life I had no part of. The laughing, the love, the trust they had in each other would leave me feeling more like an outsider than I care to remember. Although both of my parents loved me, they were not together and they spent so much time fighting over me that sometimes I think they actually forgot what prize they were both trying to win. When I look back I think I became an independent person because I never wanted to rely on someone else to love me to make me feel whole. It took me years to realize that someone loving you isn't what makes you whole, it's knowing that you are worthy of that love that completes you.
My life is so different now and for the first time in a very long time I don't feel like that kid on the outside with her nose pressed against the glass looking into a life she thought she'd never have. Every now and then I still step outside myself, outside of my life, to get a better view of how much love I'm actually worthy of. I've come out from under those bushes, I've opened the door and stepped into my life. I never have to be on the outside looking in...ever again.
Happy Half Nekkid Thursday 
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Happy HNT!
how true!!
I just love your insights hope you have a great day
Thanks for touching my world.