3/07/2006
Some times my heart feels heavy. Some times it feels as if it just can't withstand any more pressure, it's stretched beyond capacity. You can love someone yet still feel like they are a complete stranger. Doesn't seem possible does it? You can want to be with someone and they can want to be with you but in reality wanting something and having something are completely different. I'm not naive enough to believe that love is enough to make a relationship work. I know that successful relationships survive in spite of love not because of it. I want my relationship with my sig. other to be as strong as I know it can be. But my heart is heavy, the weight of his financial problems lay over me. As much as I try to make him responsible, I can't. I am not his parent, I am not his conscience, I am not and never will be - his savior. There have been many failed rescue missions in my life and I have no desire to add to that number. It's not that I don't love him enough to try, I have tried, but how many times can I bail him out until it's too many? I'm tired of getting penalized because I make more money. I've worked damn hard to be successful at my career and just because he earns a lower salary, does that make it my job to pay more of of our living expenses. I sound bitter don't I? Maybe part of me is bitter because I feel taken for granted. I want to love him. I want love to be enough. I want love not to cost so much. Is that possible?
Simple as that.
Thanks for sharing~
I love your openness and honesty
Christine
I want god to hear my inner screams and my crying at night.
No can do.
I can't seem to control that stuff.
But there are things that I can control. And YOU too. Be strong.
Talk to him. Openly communicate this to him. Lightly.
And, again, be strong.
Sometimes, a hug can be enough...
NWC, in my not insubstantial experience love is a pretty solid bedrock for a relationship, but there will always be problems. Life is complicated. Talk about them, and you're halfway to resolving them.
money is the umber one thing couples fight about,
children is number 2
this works for me and my husband, I dont know if it would for you or not
me and my husband made a mutual descion to combine our money
he makes about $200 a month more than me, so its not that bad, but we also have a budget, and we dont just spend spend spend, its something we work at,
we figure lets let the money thing go then there is one less thing to worry about
I imagine if you sit and think about this... write about this... pray about it (if you pray)... and the answer will come.
Meg