It’s time
4 months ago
2/03/2006
This morning after I bought my coffee and bagel I walked by this guy laying on a garbage can. Really, he was spread out over the top of the garbage can...sleeping. I thought to myself, "Nasty, that has so many germs (the garbage can not the person, well ok the person probably had them too)." I kind of stared at him for a few seconds, I'd never seen a person sleeping on top of a garbage can. I've seen them many places, in boxes, on park benches, on the train, on the beach, on the ground - but never on top of a garbage can. When I finally was able to look away I continued on my journey to my job, the one that pays me lots of money, the one that allows me to spoil my daughter...and myself - sometimes. Just as I was about to walk into our brand new billion dollar building, I realized something. I've become something I promised I never would be, oblivious. When I saw that man laying on that garbage can, my first thought was of how much I was repulsed; thoughts of compassion never crossed my mind. I didn't feel sorry for him because he had no family, no home, no one to love him enough to give him shelter. I didn't wonder how he got to that place where the only bed he could find comfortable enough - was on top of a garbage can. I walk by homeless people every day. I see them when I leave my house, Harold is our alley bum and the only reason I know his name is because he told me once - while he wished me a good morning. How did it happen? How did I acquire selective sight? It isn't that I think I should take every homeless person I see into my home, or give them money, it's that I should at the very least give them an ounce of compassion instead of being repulsed by their existence. I should not be oblivious.
We're all guilty. We see people that are less fortunate than us and we give them nothing more than a sidewards glance because we don't want them to come too close. We're put out that we have to ride the train while smelling urine, we have to step over them to get to where - we need to be. We're annoyed that they are begging us for money while they stand on street corners in sub-zero temps. We are oblivious.
I'm not sure how to change you, how to change me, how to make it so that every single time I see someone that clearly has NO PLACE ELSE TO GO, that I find that place inside myself where compassion resides. That instead of looking in disgust, I look at them - not with pity, but with the loving heart that I know I have. I think posting this to my blog is a start, a small one, but still - a start.
13 Comments:
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
We donate to the Food Bank when we can.Helping out makes a difference.
Everyone needs food to cope.I hope
your post will remind others to think about how they can help.
Thanks for sharing.
Tab
We can't always help everyone, but somtimes we CAN help:
Just last week I saw an old man come into a coffee/bagel shop, looking for his car keys. He had dropped them just outside his car, and there was a good 1/2 in. of snow falling so it made it difficult to find them.
I see him and some other old men in that bagel shop almost every morning having coffee. Sometimes he sits with them, sometimes alone.
He was wondering the shop, looking for his keys. He was kicking the snow. The other men were obviously snickering at him.
When I finally got my coffee I went outside and helped him look.
I was furious at these other men... whom he sits with every day... they didn't lift a single finger.
Although we didn't find the keys, his car was there, it was open, and I was sure they would turn up.
I did at least try and help.
Sometimes, we just need to open our eyes.
I agree with emereld eyes, sometimes it really is as easy as opening our eyes.
However, that being said, I do have real compassion and usually feel bad when I pass the guys sleeping in corners (and like your garbage can man) - they are ones with real problems and real needs. But, like you said, sometimes I purposely walk in a wider circle around them so I don't smell the urine.
This is such a wonderful post, NWC, because I often think about how jaded I've become as I walk by all the people begging, and I know that some of them may really need help.
I now go to a place that I hate to label as "church". It's more of a fellowship where everyone's welcome. The homeless are not just given a check but come and participate.
Poverty will probably always be with us. But like you said how we respond to it is a different story altogether. I think I hate my own callousness and that of others more than the poverty itself. Does that sound selfish?
I always think, "There but for the grace of God go I." Because we struggle every, every day financially...and sometimes I fear we are just one paycheck away from disaster, I see the potential of what "could be", thank God for what is, and try my best to show compassion and grace to those who are trapped in a helpless circumstance.
You say that you didn't wonder about how he got there, etc....but you did, you see...because you wrote about him and think about him. You are more than what you give yourself credit for and I only see a beautiful heart inside of your writing.
What he wanted was just some compassion, someone to talk about him and those like him, like you did in this post, someone to care for them....
Fitèna
One of the reasons I found helping out at COC so amazing qwas that it just hit you straight between the eyes. There were an abundance of realisations, believe me.
Don't tell anyone...
I did; however, empty my wallet of change to an old man on the corner a few months back. He was probably 70 years old and my heart really did go out to him.