2/13/2006

the space between

No matter how small your bed physically is, it can seem boundless. A place where you can get lost beneath the covers you've gathered around you, hoping that the tighter you pull them, the less afraid you'll feel. Our bed can be the place we retreat to when we want to escape from something, a broken heart, a broken spirit, a broken mind. When you are in a relationship...or not, you may invite someone to your bed in hopes that they will intrude on your space. You offer up your once sanctuary and in an instant, your bed becomes something else all together. But as time goes on and the love becomes more familiar, lines are drawn, rules are set, and penalties apply for crossing them. You take ownership of one side and it's yours and no one can have it...not one single inch.

I'll admit that my bed has one single bold line down the middle and I spend most nights defending the borders of 'my country'. It's not that I don't love my SO (significant other) because I really do. I have learned that if I give too much, if I compromise the limits I've set, I will soon be clinging to the edge. I've fallen off that edge one too many times and I have the bruises to prove it. This past weekend my daughter was sick and she woke up screaming. Despite my best efforts to comfort her and place her back in her crib, her cries of "lay down with mommy," broke my will. I gathered her in my arms and brought her to our bed. I laid her down between us, on top of the line, and soon there were no borders, no rules, no boundaries. Two countries united for one cause. When I woke up in the morning with two little legs draped across my body I realized that some lines were made to be crossed. Sometimes we need to reach over to the other side, not to compromise someone's limits, but to expand them.

11 Comments:

  1. sirreene said...
    It is important to set boundaries but more important to know when to let them be crossed. Thank you for this very, very lovely piece.
    Tab said...
    jeeeeesee..am I going to have to bring Kleenex everytime I come to read your postings? sniff sniff..
    this was beautiful man..! LOL
    I love it when our little one needs to be with hubby and I in the middle of the night, time flies and one day he will be out with his friends in the middle of the night ~ I am going to snuggle my little bear while I can!
    Thanks for sharing
    Tab
    Lance said...
    There are times we have to send a welcoming party to reintroduce ourselves to the other side. We become strangers in our own beds.
    NewYorkMoments said...
    Great post...

    By the way, your comment on my post today is true brilliance. I've been preparing a column for Baggage Reclaim recently that centers around that idea.
    Hamrose said...
    Nice thing about real love - it's messy and hard to define. Contained love - isn't love.
    Caterpillar said...
    That gave me chills at the end. I love your imagery of the line and each side being a country. It makes this post relevant to more than just a bed.
    kimmyk said...
    i useta love it when my kids would creep into bed with us. somedays it's good to have your space in a big bed-then there are days when i wish it wasn't so roomy.

    i miss the days when it was full of feet and elbows in my back.....

    treasure these days--sorry to hear she is sick though. hope she gets to feelin better.
    muylajuana said...
    Is your baby better now? Hope so. That was a beautifully tender post. Thanks.
    WDKY said...
    I agree that we need boundaries in our lives, NWC, but I also think we need to constantly question them. Like you did then... lovely post.
    k o w said...
    Lovely.
    Sky said...
    That was such a sweet post. Wish my dog knew his boundaries but he thinks the entire bed is his country. Moving him is like taking down the Great Wall.

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