when the chances are gone

No nekkidness today.

About a year ago a friend of mine sent me a link to a website of her former neighbor/friend http://www2.caringbridge.org/il/vickip/ . She explained how her friend was going through a tough time, she was in her 7th month of her second pregnancy when she was diagnosed with Colon Cancer. Almost reluctantly I clicked on the link, afraid of what I might find. Afraid that someone else's plight may be too intrusive on my life. Lord knows I had enough plight of my own. But I clicked and I read and ever since that moment this woman and her family have been in my heart. The baby was taken early so she could start treatment and although the baby survived and is actually doing well, the mother's fight against cancer ended yesterday. Left behind are a husband and two little girls, 3 and 1. Life is so goddamn unfair isn't it?

I think about my life and the things I've been through, the pity I've often felt for myself - I'm ashamed. When you strip away all that we are, all that we've been, all that we may become, what is left? We build walls to protect ourselves, we tell lies to avoid truth, we run away to avoid standing still, we search for ways to survive. And still we are the same fallible human beings. No matter how many times we jump off cliffs and manage to survive, we must face the reality that somewhere, life will lose to death. It's a battle we often ignore because we all know that ignorance is bliss right? And then one day every truth you've ever avoided manages to stare you in the eyes every time you look in the mirror and it's then that you realize, there is no avoiding the inevitable.

I've been so wrapped up in my work and my life lately that I've failed to make my rounds to all the blogs I love and I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry that I can never seem to remember how precious life is until someone else's tragedy lands squarely in front of me, reminding me how lucky I am. I am bruised, I have fallen and gotten up more times than I care to remember, but I am alive. I have chances to right the wrongs, chances to create new memories to overshadow the bad ones, chances to love the people I've hated, chances to choose honesty over lies, chances to become something other than I am right now - something better. We let so many chances pass us by and then before we know what has happened, there are no more chances.

I encourage you to click on that link above. Read the story, feel that family's pain, and make your life less about chance and more about choice.


  1. sirreene said...
    I don't want to read about. But thanks for sharing it. I lost a best friend to brain cancer. She had a new 8 month old when she died. She left behind three other daughters. She was so incredibly full of life I just like to think that she burned through her candle sooner than most of use do. Four daughters left without her. Nine years ago. Life continues.
    Anonymous said...
    I won't read the link Net.
    I have seen much of this pain in my own life..but you know what all of us can learn..live for today.
    We just never know what our own time lines are in life..live for today:)
    You have a big heart Net.
    Thank you for sharing~
    keda said...
    i've had this post open for the last few hours and still sadly cannot bring myself to follow the link. for the same reasons as those above me. i lost one frined 4 years ago who left 3 daughters, and one is now dying of colon cancer before our eyes. with four children to be left behind.
    i just cannot bear any more right now.
    but thank you for the post and link.
    take care dear heart.
    e.e. said...
    I'll read it. And I have suffering all around me - every day. My mother, my sister.
    My bosses' husband died of colon cancer. He was 45. My grandmother - of bone cancer.
    We are all blessed with life.
    When it is time to go, we have no choice, do we?
    What we choose to do with our lives in between birth and death is indeed a miracle waiting to happen.
    Let's embrace the good with the bad. Maybe we can try not to let the bad run us down?
    Easier said than done, I know...
    WDKY said...
    You know, you're right, but we all do it... forget the important things in life and think that we have it so tough... It's always a good lesson to re-learn, though.

    Have a lovely weekend x
    NMAMFQLMSH said...
    I just wanted to say THANK YOU.
    I see you,
    kate said...
    I will read the link next and say a prayer for them. We'll see how much of it I can actually get through reading. I do think that it helps to put things into focus. The gravity of our own issues...
    Caterpillar said...
    I haven't gone to the link yet, but I will. Life sometimes seems so unfair. I have such a fear of getting cancer and dying early. I wish it didn't have to happen to anyone. It's a very good reminder, though, to live each day and not take things or more importantly, people, for granted. I like having these reminders frequently - I don't want to forget.

    On a completely different subject and separate note, I would love your comments on my 8/28 post - I always love what you have to say!
    Lori said...
    I think that time makes many demands on us all and unfortunately so often, it is not our own.

    I'm still computerless at home so cannot read blogs as often as I'd like. I miss coming here and reading your profound words...

    I think that you do see life for all that it's worth and cherish the moments that you have, large and small. We all have our moments of forgetfulness where we don't just count our blessings, but fully appreciate them. One of mine is finding you and all that you share.
    Shannon said...
    thanks for putting things into perspective.. thats for sure
    I totally understand too about being sooo busy to check on blogs.. no worries chica! still love ya nd soo been there too.
    been thinking about you and your new little one... have a great weekend with your hubby alice and yourself.. :)
    lash505 said...
    That is sad. Life is so short.
    Gwen said...
    I clicked your link and saw this beautiful woman and two babies with her birthdate and deathdate. I was born in 1968 too. My heart sank of course and I came right back to read the rest of your post. Thank you~
    Christine said...
    sometimes it takes a death a tragic death to put life into perspective,

    life is short, so live
    Christine said...
    a long timer AA told me after Lonny dies that deaths do not go unnoticed--- at the time I was so angry but this woman's death is one youv'e taken notice of and may change some things you do now--

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