8/02/2006
My niece was here for a long weekend and I was excited to see her. I don't get to spend as much time with her as I would like since she lives 3 hours away so I was hoping this would be a chance for us to catch up. She's starting high school in the Fall so pretty soon hanging with her aunt will become a thing of the past. You remember how it is right...your parents and any other adult related to you suddenly tops the 'Uncool' list. Anyway on the ride back to my house I asked her how her therapy sessions had been going. She's been having a hard time dealing with her home life since her dad married her step-mom about 3 years ago. So she tells me that the therapy is going well and that her psychiatrist has now put her on 3 medications. One for AD/HD, one for depression, and one for mood swings. I have to tell you that I'm no fan of doctors that push meds on kids to make them behave the way we think they should. I've known this kid since she was born and I've been there for all the heartache she's endured. Her problems are emotional not physical and although I agree that sometimes our experiences do lead to the need for medication, I do not believe it should be the first priority. What happened to healing the mind and heart instead of trying to medicate it? My niece takes so many meds that basically she has no emotion. She has no highs, no lows, no expression of anything. How in the world can that be healthy for a 14 year old? Isn't it by experiencing those emotions that we learn how to deal with the things that life throws at us. Those emotions are not always pleasant but I believe that they are necessary. How will a child learn what sorts of actions hurt us emotionally and which ones are beneficial? I can tell you from experience that the pains of my past have allowed me to become the person I am today. Sure I wish some of the pain didn't exist but do I wish I'd felt nothing at all - NEVER. I also heard my niece describe herself a few times as 'border line Autistic'. She said her therapist told her she has Autistic tendencies. I happen to know a lot about Autism and there is no way this kid has any form of Autism. They said she doesn't show affection, she focuses too much inward...hello....you have her drugged up what the hell do you expect her to do.
When did we become a society that believed for every ailment, for every emotion or action we do not want to experience - there is a drug to cure you. What is the cure anyway? To me it seems too many of us believe that a cure means being able to exist without feeling anything. Sounds a lot like denial if you ask me.
I'm afraid for your niece. Her therapist sounds like he/she is projecting some unhealthy things onto someone who is still a child. Somehow, I can't help wonder if the medication is more for everyone elses convenience and not for your niece's well being. I agree with you, feeling something is better than feeling nothing at all.
**Big Hugs**
I kicked my medicine to the curb over the last year, and I'm happy I did it. Unfortunately when you're 14 it isn't really up to you as much. The labels really bother me. Why do we call people all these things? What good does it do?
but we've been told to respect our elders and those in authority--
and it seems hard for people to get off the medication crutch too. The rebound effect is tough. I'm watching my DM do it since January.
She's got you as an example and you are a darn good one!
On a side note, I haven't heard of psychiatrists giving actual talking therapy - they just have appointments to listen to how the patient is doing and adjust the meds. But is she also seeing a psychologist to talk all this out? When I was going through a particularly hard time at the end of law school I saw a psychologist weekly and she helped me so much - but I also went to another woman first who I didn't feel as comfortable with so it's important to shop around, too.
I wish so many things for your niece. The whole situation which she has been thrown into, and now this, is so frustrating to read about so I can't imagine how it must be for you.
it is common practice to put kids on meds and no treatment for the heart,mind or spirit.I hate that part of our society,but people like you Net know better.Your niece has you~
Thanks for sharing~
The other day my straight A daughter told me she had ADHD. I said really, how so? She said she can't concentrate and her friends all have it and she thinks she does. Like somehow now having ADHD is the cool thing like getting braces or whatever.
I don't get it.
companies are the back yard labs.
it sucks. i hate that a person who just needs to be outside and running around and playing is told there is something wrong with you because you can't sit still and silent in a class room for a whole day. when the only reason any child sits still in a classroom all day is because they are made to.