It’s time
4 months ago
8/22/2006
When you are pregnant, you can think of nothing but having your own body to yourself again. To be able to sleep in any position you want without someone kicking you. To eat what you want without fear of heartburn. To walk farther than a block without your back aching from the distance. But after giving birth you realize that the biggest part of you is now somehow, external. You'll spend the rest of your life trying to figure out a way to keep your child close enough for comfort and most times you'll fail.
In my life there have been many moments filled with disappointment. Hopes and dreams broken by fate, fading into the background because life just has a way of doing that to a person. Although I managed to survive and somehow come out the other side while keeping some part of myself in tact, I never wanted to experience disappointment through someone else's eyes. There's something about watching a child hope for something, then witnessing that same light fade from their eyes, that can break your heart in an instant. I know it's part of growing up, part of being human - to experience disappointment. But why? Why do people make promises they cannot keep? A promise is a contract right? Why do so many people care so little, so much so that they are willing to disappoint a child? Maybe it's because the person breaking the promise is rarely the same person who has to stand in front of that child and watch the hope flee from their eyes.
I want to protect my children. I want them to hope for things and to never be afraid that having faith in something, costs too much. I'm just not really sure I know how to teach that lesson. How can I tell someone else how to have faith when so often I have so little? People disappoint you. People break promises. Are these lessons I want my children to learn? Maybe the lesson is really for us, not for them. Maybe we need to learn what making a promise means.
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With out the bad there would not be good. We have to experience the bad in order to appreciate the good. Most disappointment comes from high expectations not broken promises.
thank you for sharing.
I love being a mom...but it's emotionally draining at times to see what life dishes out.
it is realistic to know that not everyone keeps their promises or agreements and to be careful about expectations cause I've come to know that with expectations come disappointments and its been a long road learning that instead of having that lesson when I was young.
We can protect our chiildren by giving them the tools to help them live life on life's terms--but we can't protect them from life
nor can I protect myself from how I will feel might feel if they are hurt or disappointed--
have missed you--guess we both have been busy--