8/04/2006

grasping

I know that I never change the song on my blog but I think it's because I need to hear it. Each day when I load my URL in my browser and that song starts to play, I stop and listen to the words and they never cease to move me. Ever since I was a kid I either had a theme song or a poem that I made myself read each day. I've always been a words type of person, expressing the things in my mind and never really being able to 'get it' unless it was literally spelled out for me. I suppose that's why I love blogging; the chance to write down my thoughts and read other's just the same, inspires me. I wrote this little diddy last night so I thought I'd share because it seemed the perfect way to end a long week.

There's something I cannot grasp.
My hands reach beyond what I know, what I feel, what I've practiced - because I know there is something more.
Something more necessary than the indulgences I've given myself as reward.
As I peer over my shoulder glancing at the road that's brought me here, I wonder how much of that path was truly the "Road less traveled."
So many times convenience rather than courage has chartered my course.
When I look back I have to wonder, what was I afraid of?
Fear has changed me but then again, it's changed us all.
Sometimes I open my eyes in the morning and there is no trace of what came before.
And part of me is scared.
If it's all gone, who is the person that remains?
Maybe there's a way to remember and still be free.
Maybe what I cannot grasp is acceptance.
I must remind myself of this and make a promise to never stop reaching.

8 Comments:

  1. Tab said...
    You are good...I am touched...
    because you are still reaching.
    Thanks for sharing~
    keda said...
    i just caught up on the last few posts. ooh look at your wonderful son!! :)

    i love that you are always reaching. its beautiful to read and witness your so very open heart babe.
    Da Gal said...
    I am blessed to be able to watch you keep reaching NWC. I love coming here and hearing the same song - it is a beautiful song with a wonderful message.

    Keep on reaching, you never know what you will find in your graps. You will know that it was meant to touch you and your hand though.
    lash505 said...
    I can't promise that I will never drink or use, but I can right now and today. Thats all I have is the now and a day. It seems to keep the ideas out. Love the song keep it, because it is yours.
    Southern Sweetheart said...
    I always love coming here -- 1st b/c I get "refreshed" by the song here and even went and downloaded it for my ipod all because of you, and 2nd b/c your words are always so touching and ring true to me.

    Thank you for opening yourself and sharing here. Your heart always seems to touch mine.
    Rex said...
    Acceptance is so hard for me. Too often when I reach for it I mistakenly grasp "exceptance". Thanks for your share, they always inspire me.
    NML said...
    I've also been catching up and want to say congratulations on your son. Life is very exciting for you! That was a pretty deep post. I think fear is something that drives us all and how much it impacts on us depends on the level of fear that we allow into our lives. I have learnt the hard way that the consequences of being paralysed by fear are far worse than it would have been if I confronted it in the first place. I've also realised that a lot of my brain power goes on worrying about things that lose their weight very quickly!
    Caterpillar said...
    That was so beautiful, NWC, so beautiful and so simple and yet so full. I love your writing, you always touch me so much! One thing that makes me so happy about this poem of yours is that you do wake up some mornings now and not feel so much of the pain that you have carried with you for so long. It makes me happy for you, even though I know it's still not completely comfortable yet.

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