Some Words...

Yesterday I was going to post about the things I'm grateful for following CeeCi's suggestion of Grateful Tuesdays. Instead I wrote about my daughter and I suppose when I look back at that post it was about something I'm eternally grateful for - her. But then something happened, something that made me stop and realize I better get that list in order because it's not only important, it's necessary.

I usually leave work about 4 every night and I take the Blue Line El train home. Yesterday I was asked to stay late, until 5, to attend a meeting where they needed my input. Of course I agreed but I told them I'd have to clear it with my nanny first to see if she could stay late with Alice. When I called the nanny she told me she had a doctor's appt. and could not stay late so I had to tell my superiors that I had to decline the meeting and asked that they reschedule. I ended up on my normal train and I didn't realize how fate played a part in my commute home until I turned on the news last night and saw that there had been a train derailment and fire on the Blue Line at 5:09 two stops after my entrance stop. I would have been on that train because the train comes at 5:05 and takes exactly four minutes to get to the stop where the fire occurred. Over 100 people were treated for smoke inhalation, 2 are in critical condition. It's not that I think I might have died, chances are I wouldn't have, but smoke inhalation when you are pregnant is almost always fatal to a fetus or has a high risk of causing birth defects. I sat there watching the news and I told my husband that I was supposed to be on that train. Tears welled up in my eyes as I thought of what might have happened to my sweet baby to be.

I know that a lot of bad things happen in this lifetime and most times there are no answers as to why. But sometimes we're spared from the pain and the question of why seems much less important. Today I'm going to make an effort to stop asking why. I need to remember the good and the bad and accept it for what it is so that each of my tomorrows can be spent remembering the things I'm grateful for.