7/21/2006
I'm not in a good mood today. I know that there are trials and tribulations to every relationship but when do the trials get verdicts and a sentence handed out? To put it plain and simple, I'm tired of asking for things to get done and it never happening. It's a vicious cycle, the task remains unfinished for days that turn into weeks, I end up doing it myself because I can't stand the fact that it's not done. I get pissed off, my mood shifts, and somehow I've now become the executioner and my husband the martyr. I'll be honest, most of my life seems to go this way and I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because I've formed this bad habit of apologizing for things that are not my fault. Like...I'm sorry that you lied to me and now I don't trust you. I'm sorry that you can't love me. I'm sorry that you broke your promise to me and now I have lost all faith in you. Why or why do I do that? You know what's more frustrating than apologizing when you are not at fault? That the people responsible actually let you feel sorry. They not only accept your apology, they expect it. Well, things have to change for me. Whether it be a broken promise or as small as not doing household chores....I am not going to apologize for something I have no fault in. I've played the big bad wolf too many times when in reality I'm just the little girl in red too frightened to stand up for herself.
I have to wonder, if we stop apologizing for the things we have no fault in will those people that gobble up those apologies stop expecting them? Probably not. There must be a way to own only what is yours and leave the rest by the curbside.
Here's wishing you a weekend with no apologies.
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I'm anticipating the day I'll stop apologizing for the simple fact that I exist. I'm getting closer everyday to knowing what a beautiful person I am...no apologies.
**Big Hugs**
And if someone else apologizes to me for something that wasn't their fault or for something that was equally both our faults, I'll tell them that they didn't do anything to apologize for, or that I'm sorry as well.
Well, this doesn't help you much, but I agree with your decision to stop apologizing when you did nothing to apologize for. Mostly because it causes you even more stress and anger. He should feel bad when he drops the ball, and he should apologize, but you can't control his behavior and you certainly can't control how he feels. So what I'm trying to say is that you can only really control yourself, and it will be a positive step and make you feel better about everything if you stop apologizing when you did nothing wrong.
I'm sorry that was so poorly written! I hope my point got across - that I like your resolution!!!
And I hope your frustration leaves and that you have a wonderful weekend!!! Give little Alice many kisses and rub your belly! :)
Well, I'm going to apologise now, for not being around much lately, and just say taske care while I'm away. Love the hair, by the way :-)
x
I see you,
JJ
Thanks for that entry, I think I may be guilty of procrastinating at times...but I do not expect DW to apologize to me for stuff I fail to do.
Now I should go make a list of things to do (really)
I, in a round about way, featured you on my blog today.
You are in my prayers, my friend.
we should be living our lives making sure we don't have to make so many apologies along the way..
its true isn't it?
You have yourself a good little weekend Net.Kick back when ya can.
As for all those jobs your Hubby doesn't get done...welcome to the club ...it happens.I no longer get uspset..I just go play WITH him and we will get those pesty jobs done...
eventually.Hang in there.
Thanks for sharing ~
I see you,
JJ