4/05/2006

the moments before and after

After being 'stuck in the moment' yesterday and many days before that I actually started thinking about the things that lead up to that moment and the things that followed it like a dog chasing it's tail. Moments do not exist like an enigma, separate from everything else, they exist because of everything else. The thing I realized yesterday is although I thought I was stuck in just one moment, I was actually stuck in many. Sometimes we put blinders on and all we can see is what's right in front of us. We don't ask questions - we make assumptions. Assumptions that we know why things happen or why they don't, but in reality most of us have selective memories. Some of us remember only the bad because we believe it's shaped who we are. Some of us remember only the good because we're in denial that bad things happened at all. I wrote a post a while back named 'Remembering makes you free' and I had forgotten the words I spoke, I'd missed my own advice. Last night I remembered things, some good - some bad and you know what? Today I feel lighter, maybe not any more enlightened as to why things were the way they were, but definitely lighter. Isn't it strange how heavy moments can become? Sitting on top of your shoulders whispering in your ear, "remember me?" I've never been good at laying those burdens down but I really want to try to change. I'm not sure how to begin but I suppose a first step is to write those thoughts down, make them as real as they were when they happened. It's painful to remember isn't it? But not remembering can be just as harmful.

So for a few moments beyond this one...I'm going to write about some things I thought I'd forgotten. Things I should remember so that I truly can move past them. I hope that's ok...that I let you into those secret places that even I had forgotten about. You know...today is 04-05-06 and they say it's an occurence that will never happen again in our lifetime. I think today I'm going to do something special to mark the occasion, I'm going to 'unstick' myself from the moments that came before this one. This moment right now, it's my new starting point.

5 Comments:

  1. k o w said...
    Sounds like a great idea. I'm with ya.
    TJ said...
    i agree with kow, today sounds like a perfect place to start. And thank you for allowing us the chance to come along...
    Tab said...
    Hi Net,
    Letting go of anything has to start somewhere , you writing your personal stuff down is a good start I am sure.Don't hold back!

    I keep hearing about this 123456
    thing, now I wonder what I should do to that would be special ?
    Well, I will at least write it down in my little bears baby book.

    Okay, have a peaceful day :)
    Thanks for sharing~
    Alexis said...
    love the remembering..... remembering to look at the whole picture. There's at least a little bad in the best of us, and at least a little good in the worst of us.... I do myself no favors by just seeing what I want to see. I'm glad you're seeing it all today and brave enough to walk through it.
    NML said...
    Hmm, that date happens for us next month as we write our dates as day/month/year. but yes, good idea!

Post a Comment