10/16/2006
Have you ever been afraid of the dark? I don't think I'm like most people because it's not the darkness I'm afraid of, it's the light. It's the sun shining down on the parts of me I've kept hidden so that, well, they are not a secret anymore. To me, the darkness has always been my night light, casting shadows on the things that scare me so I don't have to see them. When I turn off the light I feel a weight lifted off my shoulders because when it's 'light outside' the burden of 'appearances' lay heavily upon me. In the light people can see your flaws, the ones you've worked so hard to conceal and no matter how hard you try to flee underground where the light cannot penetrate, somehow your feet can never take you there fast enough.
Someone told me once, "darkness may seem like the only place you can be yourself when really it's the place you pretend not to be yourself." God I've gotten good at pretending.
Maybe tomorrow I'll plug-in that princess night-light. Hey, you have to start small right?
Posts
or should we just observe and laugh at it's stunted existence?
no you are right that would be mean. and we don't really need to stoop now do we... as we all have the joy that comes with having real life friends and lovers and family, and the ability to write an effect others positively through our words and reflections too.
blessed we are in the light or dark that we can reach out and ponder our stuff without hurting anyone.
and without needing too.
yes. observe, question and learn. that's definately the way to go.
live large sweetie.
and get the affirmation through the good and bad. it's a rocky road, but a good one. and i love that you keep me thinking.
i personally prefer the light. but i can kick darknesess butt anyday :)
It's what's in the dark at times that makes me pause.
have missed you