1/11/2008

to forgive

Have you ever wondered why you don't need to teach a child how to forgive? It's like they are born with that ability automatically. I'm not sure that's actually a good thing because there are some things that just don't deserve forgiveness, but still, I've wondered at what age, at what point, do we learn not to forgive. I've held my fair share of grudges, even against myself. I've gone years holding on to pain because I just couldn't bring myself to forgive a wrong committed against me. I can't even remember when I learned the difference between forgiveness and acceptance which incidentally are not the same thing. There are many things I've just accepted but when I really am honest with myself, I know the forgiveness part, well that's something all together different.

I want to teach my kids about forgiveness, not so they'll know how to do it but so they'll know how to give it when it's deserved, when it's needed, when forgiving someone is just as much for you as it is for the person receiving it. I'm not sure how I'll go about teaching this lesson. Maybe I'll tell them all the things I wish I would have forgiven a long time ago. The things that ended up being the very same things I needed to forgive myself for.

Forgiveness. It's still something I struggle with, but I've learned to accept that.

4 Comments:

  1. kimmyk said...
    Ya know, I can forgive people for saying or doing things, but when I do them to myself, I am my own worst enemy. I will beat myself up over and over about it...

    Letting go...it's a tough one.

    Yeah, I wonder though when a child figures out life lessons...it's sad really. It would be nice if we all kept that innocence a little while longer.
    Lori said...
    I have a couple of things, too, that I need to forgive. For me it becomes harder when it involves my children.
    But I need to...

    Holding a grudge is like having a poison festering in our bodies. It doesn't hurt the person who committed the wrong-doing, only ourselves. When we forgive, we don't let them "off the hook", but rather make peace within ourselves so we can carry on without resentment and bitterness. Life is too short and there's no time for that kind of nonsense.

    But...it's still hard sometimes...
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