Some Words...

Once I closed my eyes to catch a few z's and woke up ten years later. I was kid with few responsibilities and the next thing I knew, I was full swing into adulthood. It happens a lot, time passes and I can't really be sure of where it went. I've tried to remember why this happens, that I've filled my days with things that seem to take no space inside my head and then I suddenly wake up and everything is different from the last time I paid attention. I make little promises to myself that I'll make something memorable happen each day, things to chart on the timeline of my life so that when I look back I won't be sitting here wondering how once again I've seemingly fallen into a time machine I have no control over. When you look at your life there shouldn't be big gaps between what was and what is but we fall into that nasty trap of believing we'll live forever, there will always be more time to make more memories.

I'm sitting here thinking about how I will have another child in 6 weeks or less. I can remember when I found out I was pregnant but after that, moments seem to blur. When I had Alice I promised myself I would remember everything about her, her 'special moments', her 'milestones' and you know what? I do remember every single one but what about me? I've let myself fade into the background like I've done a million times before. It's just too damn easy to make other things priority. I need to change that and not just change it for a day, for a week, for a month. I need to make my own moments 'milestones' so that one day if I wake up and feel as if time has slipped past me once more, I can remind myself that there was no 'slipping involved'. It was all about living and remembering and being grateful that God gave me those moments to make my own.

Have a wonderful weekend.