12/30/2009

selfishness and angels

Sometimes I am so completely selfish. I put my own woes up at the top of the list as if they could even compare to the plight others suffer. The little boy I spoke of before died this morning. He lost the fight to Leukemia and now God has one more angel in heaven. It makes you sad, it makes you open your eyes, and it makes you feel selfish and stupid and incredibly small. Dax died today, one day before the start of a new year, and I have to believe that he wanted to make sure his parents didn't start a new year hanging on to something he knew they could not have, him. I want to be different, not just for today, every day. I want to lay down my selfish ways and be grateful for the gifts I have so graciously been given.

Rest in peace little man and thank you for the miracles you left back here on earth.

2 Comments:

  1. T - Another Geek Girl said...
    That's so sad. I know what you mean about being selfish. I forget sometimes as well.
    e.e. said...
    Hello network chick... it has been so, so long....I was rereading my old blog and I found you again.
    I wanted to say hi.
    You wrote to me, once, saying:
    "I've come here to this place every day to read your words even when there was nothing new posted, I read anyway. I read partly because I can relate to your life, your fears, your trust issues. Sometimes we all go through that phase where our pockets seem empty but the trick is to remember that tomorrow there is always another opportunity to fill your pockets with hope. Live your life for the future - not your past. I've been there and trust me when I say, that living your life in the shadow of your past will always leave you with nothing but empty pockets.

    chin up girl. "

    Dear old internet friend. I just wanted to say hi.... and wish you well.

    - emerald eyes
    from New England area

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